


New Year Healing

by OutOfPracticeYall



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Romance, do I have to put sex mention if the word sex is used lol??, its a little different from what I normally write, joseph is still married in this one, just had to get this angst out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutOfPracticeYall/pseuds/OutOfPracticeYall
Summary: Dadsona is invited to a New Year Party hosted by Brian. With no Amanda for distraction his mind keeps turning to an old flame, whose unusual alcohol consumption has him hard pressed to be concerned about anything else. When Joseph leaves the party drunk and alone, he can't stop himself from following if only to make sure he's okay.





	New Year Healing

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little one shot to help get back into the groove of things. I promise the next thing I write will be fluffier.

New Year wasn’t exactly your type of holiday. Most years you’d spent it with Amanda watching fireworks from the comfort of your garden and watching movies, you didn’t really go out to celebrate. But Amanda was at college now, she’d been back for Christmas and left again to celebrate the New Year with her friends, and so when you’d been invited to Brian’s cookout, you didn’t really have an excuse not to say yes.

His garden was spacious enough that he could safely set off fireworks at midnight so every year the Cul-De-Sac celebrated at his house. For the most part, you hung around Craig, without your daughter to bully you into socialising he was your only fail-safe for not ending up standing alone in the corner. After all, you weren’t as ‘popular’ as when you first arrived on the scene, not after what had happened with Joseph.

Who was, of course, here too avoiding you, avoiding him and then there were Mary and Robert, both of which you didn’t dare talk too. Things had started off so well with Robert but he’d never forgiven you for sleeping with his best friend’s husband and you didn’t really blame him. That bridge was burned, you knew that. Joseph, on the other hand, had said he wanted to continue being friends, though neither of you had made good on that suggestion.

Despite your trying not to pay him any mind, you couldn’t help notice that something was off with Joseph tonight. He hadn’t said a word to Mary all night, he didn’t smile as much and perhaps the strangest thing, he was drinking red wine. You could tell he didn’t like it from the momentary shock of disdain on his face whenever he took a long sip. Nobody else seemed to notice this and why should they? All the adults (aside from Brian who was remaining sober to set off fireworks) were drinking; you yourself had a beer in your hand. The kids were inside the house watching movies on Brian’s superior television under the supervision of Lucien and Ernest.

As the night progressed, you forgot about your concern and ended up talking to Hugo, when he started asking how Amanda was adjusting to college life. Perhaps it was your second beer talking but you found it endearing how invested in Amanda’s welfare he was.

A burst of laughter from behind you that caught your attention, you realised it was Mary, helplessly holding onto Robert’s shoulder as her laughing nearly toppled her over. They were definitely on more than their second drink. The spilling glass of wine in her hand turned your attention back to Joseph. Your searching gaze found him leaning against a porch post, glass in hand, barely standing as he attempted conversation with Brian. He was not handling the drink as well as his wife. Brian seemed concerned but also like he wanted to run in the opposite direction, after all, who wants to listen to the drunken ramblings of a youth minister. Why was he drinking so hard? Or at all? Why was it specifically the red wine his wife drinks?

You couldn’t help feeling that all too familiar wanting in your chest, the one you’d felt so many times over those few days you’d spent with him. Whenever he’d let that little spark of vulnerability show through his perfect happy minister disguise. Now it was on display for everyone to see, Joseph was a mess and nobody seemed to want to notice it but yourself.  
Brian planted a hand on Joseph’s shoulder that almost knocked him right over and you watched as he said something to him that you couldn’t hear. The blond laughed somewhat awkwardly and nodded before Brain walked away from him. For a moment, you considered going to him. Mary and Robert’s judgement be damned.

“I’m not boring you, am I?” Hugo’s voiced pulled you back to reality. 

You sheepishly smiled at him and shook your head, “No, sorry.”

More time past and you lost track of Joseph again and gravitated back to Craig’s side until you eventually realised the blond was no longer in sight at all. He’d left the party, without his wife, without his kids, drunk and alone. Despite how much you didn’t want to feel it, you couldn’t help the concern creeping into your mind. Joseph’s house was only across the road, it wasn’t like he could get lost. Still, he could pass out, or be sick, or hit his head. Before you knew it your mind was spinning with worry.

Giving in, you excused yourself from the party, feigning a headache and exited the garden. Part of you wondered if Mary had seen if she knew you were about to go chasing after her husband. If she did, she didn’t follow, in fact, the last thing you heard from the garden was her and Robert laughing again. Well, at least someone was having a good time.

The air seemed colder now that you were alone, walking over the road you could see that all the lights were off in the Christiansen household. Maybe Joseph had already safely made it to bed, but you’d let the tight grip of worry encase your chest and you couldn’t be satisfied with just maybes. You knocked once, twice and then a third time and each time you were met with silence. This did nothing to quell the anxiety building in you, but what else could you actually do? You couldn’t just break into Joseph’s house. He had to already be asleep you told yourself in defeat as you turned to leave.

And then you saw him.

He was sat, head in his hands, on your doorstep of all places. Well, if even you hadn’t wanted to check in on Joseph, you weren’t being given the choice now. Despite your approach he didn’t seem to notice you, you weren’t even sure if Joseph was awake or whether he’d passed out sat up. 

“Joseph?” You asked softly.

He groaned in response. He was at least conscious. 

“Joseph, you know this isn’t your doorstep, right?”

He nodded, not looking up from his hands, you weren’t sure you believed him. You could see his keys still dangling from his fingers by an anchor key ring. A sigh escaped your lips as you knelt down in front of the other man, trying to encourage eye contact.

“Want me to walk you home?”

He shook his head.

“Want to come inside?”

There was a pause. Then Joseph nodded.

You held out your hands for him to take as you helped him to his feet and finally caught a glimpse of his face. His cheeks were blotchy and flushed red, you would have given him the benefit of doubt that it was down to the alcohol or cold if his eyes weren’t so swollen and watery. That familiar aching sensation gripped at your heart again as you lead Joseph through the door.  
What you were going to do with him now that he was inside, you didn’t know. You started by sitting him on the sofa and offering him a glass of water. Even though he declined you pushed one into his hands anyway.

You were acutely aware of the thickening silence as you sat beside him, being careful to put a good few inches between yourself and the other man. To keep everything nice and formal, even if there was absolutely nothing formal about this situation. Joseph just sat there, gulping down the water he apparently didn’t want.

“Joseph, is everything okay?”

“Sure, everything’s fine,” His words came out slurred and Joseph swayed far more than he expected to when he lifted his glass as if to cheer, then grimaced upon remembering it was only water. Perhaps you should have given something less breakable. As if to reaffirm it to himself he repeated himself, “Everything’s just fine.”

“So what’s with the wine then? Isn’t that Mary’s drink?” Subconsciously, you moved just that little closer when Joseph jerked in response to his wife’s name. 

“Because I’m tired,” He turned to you with a smile, as if he was in on some joke you weren’t, but the well of tears in his eyes betrayed his guise, “I’m tired of trying, of being the sensible one. The sober one.” Joseph’s voice cracked as he paused and swallowed back the emotion that was building up in him. “Every time I screw up, it’s like I’ve committed this huge crime and no matter how big or small it is and I’m the worst for it.”

You weren’t sure when you’d moved close enough to rest a gentle hand on Joseph’s shoulders or feel the warmth radiating off him but you were there. The choice of wording stung you though, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were one of those ‘screw ups’.

“And Mary? Mary does what she wants, no concern for the aftermath. All I did was ask that she didn’t get flat out drunk to tonight, but apparently, that was too much. So I said fine, but I’m not staying sober to walk you and the kids home!” A long, exacerbated sigh escaped him. “She just laughed.”

“You know drinking isn’t actually going to solve anything.” You spoke softly, hoping that if you were gentle enough he wouldn’t realise what he’s saying and close off from you.  
The glass was now empty in hands; you hadn’t seen him drink the last of the water and were fairly certain it was soaking into the fabrics of his pants. Joseph just stared at it for a quiet moment, his eyes were so full you doubted he could see out of them.

You couldn’t decide whether he was considering your words or just ignoring you, so you pressed on, “You can’t just drown away your problems, or run from them, or hideaway in the closet.”  
“In the closet?” Joseph repeated, sounding puzzled like the saying was foreign to him. Then some revelation clicked with him and he jerked away from your proximity, “I am not gay!” In his drunken state he forgotten not to sound so offended by the idea, you saw the wave of guilt wash over him as he realised all too slow how he’d just reacted.

“I- That’s not what I meant,” You meant running off from the party tonight, yet from the incredulous look Joseph gave you, he didn’t believe it. The conversation wasn’t supposed to take this turn, you weren’t trying to counsel him just make sure he didn’t do anything stupid tonight. Still, it had and maybe it was a good thing. Maybe this was a chance for you two to air things out. “But you are attracted to men. You certainly like having sex with them.”

You barely caught the shame in Joseph’s eyes as he looked away from you again. He was closing off again, slipping through your fingers just like last time. Ready to run back to his miserable life and act like it’s all he deserves. You had to give him something earnest, a piece of yourself that he could relate too, for what you were asking him to admit to.

“The first person I came out to was a priest. I wasn’t even religious, I was just so afraid of telling my parents. They had this whole future already planned out for me, find a wife, give them grandchildren and being gay felt like I was deviating from that. So, one day on my way home from school I walked into the first church I found and sat in the confessional and told him all of it. You know what he said?”

Though you didn’t look at him, you could feel Joseph’s gaze burning into you, you didn’t wait from him to respond, you didn’t want to give him the opportunity not to hear what you had to say, “He said: Why are you here? This booth is for confessing sins and seeking the means of forgiveness and you haven’t committed any sins.”

There was a crack in your voice as you spoke, you didn’t expect this to be difficult to talk about, but then you’d only ever told this to one other person before. Alex. “He said: Love is the closest thing we can experience to divinity and no limitations should ever be set on that. If when you are grown, you find a man you love and he loves you back, and you are good and kind to each other nothing about that love could ever taint you, it only makes you brighter.”

“What did they say?” His voice was quiet. “Your parents?”

“It didn’t matter, this preacher, this stranger in a box had given me all the validation that I needed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” It almost sounded like an accusation, rather than a question. It took you off guard because you didn’t know the answer. Joseph wasn’t your lover, wasn’t your friend, the pair of you had barely even spoken over the last part of the year.

You thought hard for a moment before coming up with an answer, “Because I don’t think anyone else has told you that how you feel is okay. And it is Joseph, it’s okay.”

When he didn’t reply you finally looked his way, those tears that had been so desperately clinging to his lashes were now streaming down his face. You didn’t dare try to close the breach between the two of you again, for fear that he’d all but run. There was a long silence of just watching Joseph, aching to reach out and touch him.

“I’m not sure I deserve those sorts of things anymore.”

“Joe, of course, you do! Christ, we had an affair, it’s not like you killed anybody.”

His expression was riddled with grief as he looked to you, his mouth opened to say something but it was cut off by a loud and short whistle from outside. Then a bang and fizzle accompanied by a red flash of light striking against the curtains above the sofa. 

It was midnight. 

Over in Brian’s garden, the children would be lined up watching in wonder as he set off firework after firework. Their cheers faintly carried through the walls. You wondered if anyone had noticed Joseph’s absence yet, or if the Christiansen children were stood with Mary oblivious and if she had clocked on that you and Joseph were sat together right now. You briefly thought of Amanda, happy with her friends and completely unaware of the situation her father had gotten himself into.

It was only now you noticed you had neglected to turn on the lights, you’d only switched on the lamp by the kitchen counter as you poured Joseph’s drink. You watched the colours dances off his face, illuminating his still flushed cheeks and the wet stream running down his cheeks. Eyes raw, tired and helpless. 

And then, Joseph reached out to you. His hand caught the side of your throat, fingers tip barely brushing your hairline in a way that made you shiver. Without a word, Joseph pulled you against him and you were kissing. It was almost desperate and a little sloppy given the alcohol, but you found yourself giving over to it anyway, wrapping your arm around his shoulders to keep Joseph as close as possible.

Your heart raced in your chest, you knew you shouldn’t be doing this but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It didn’t matter that he was married, that tomorrow he could sober up and walk away again, that you two might never even have a future together because just for this one moment, he was yours again.


End file.
